Wiener Dip: I Dare You to Make It
Some families are estranged by politics, while others are torn asunder by religion. But for my family, the dividing factor that has destroyed our unity and turned brother against brother is wiener dip.
Yes, that's right. We are a house divided because of my grandfather's wiener dip. Half of the family loves the stuff. They smear it on crackers and chips, and they praise its creamy texture and spicy flavor. I suspect they would bathe in it, given the chance.
As for the rest of us, well... not so much. To be honest, I'm not even sure what it tastes like. I just couldn't ever get past its odd pink color or the fact that it's made from wieners. I realize that makes me small-minded, but frankly, I'm okay with that. I've always believed it's okay to be shallow just as long as you're insightful about it.
I have no idea where my grandfather came up with the idea for wiener dip. He's always been one for kitchen experimentation, but I can't imagine he ever set out to *intentionally* create this stuff. I have to believe it was an accident. It's the only way I can sleep nights.
So anyway, wiener dip. If you've read this far and you're thinking to yourself, "I'm intrigued. I'd like to try some of that wiener dip for myself," then I respect and salute your masochistic tendencies. Here you go. Bon appetite.
- 12 oz. cottage cheese
- 5 wieners, chopped up
- 10-15 olives (optional)
- 1 tablespoon mayonnaise
- 1 medium dill pickle
- 1 tablespoon buttermilk
- 3 jalapeno peppers
- ½ teaspoon Lawry's seasoning
- Put the cottage cheese into a blender and blend until smooth.
- Add all other ingredients and, once again, blend until smooth.